Department of Zen Corrections

• There is no such thing as a “bodhi hammer” that induces enlightenment when whacked on someone’s head.
• The lump depicted on top of the Buddha’s head was not raised by a bodhi hammer.
• The Buddha did not sit under a pipal tree for 49 days because a cat had fallen asleep in his lap.

(Okay, I’ve never actually said these things to people who might believe them. But I occasionally wonder if I’m going to wind up in a Zen version of Skippy’s List someday...)