mithriltabby | Escaped gaming meme (Reply)

As the make output scrolls past, a gamemaster’s fancy turns lightly to thoughts of really freaky magic items.

Fishbringer looks like a highly detailed sculpture of a 3’ long salmon, wrought in ithilnaur (steel alloyed with mithril and titanium, very shiny, tough, and resistant to corrosion), with the tail wrought into a hilt for a humanoid hand. Despite the fact that it is physically a club, it does the damage of a sword... with a twist. Instead of ordinary hit point damage, it inflicts polymorphing damage— e.g. what would be a bruise instead becomes scales, impairment due to wounds is caused by partial transformation of limbs to fins— and a being reduced to 0 hit points by Fishbringer will polymorph into a stunned fish. The stun wears off fairly quickly, but the polymorph must be dispelled. (Shapeshifters can resume their normal shapes as soon as the stun wears off.)

Fishbringer also grants three other powers to its wielder: water breathing and the abilities to summon and speak with fish. The effect translating physical damage into polymorphing damage is also very handy for capturing beings that need to be alive.

While Fishbringer may look a bit odd hanging on a hero’s belt, it is extremely useful for intimidation and interrogation. A person who has been bludgeoned into a fish in a location far from water may find themselves feeling very cooperative about divulging information when they know that only the mercy of their captor is keeping them in a rain barrel in a place miles from the nearest river.

The weapon is highly distinctive, though, and any character so colorful as to wield Fishbringer will surely be a source of drinks for many a bard. Fishbringer’s bearer may eventually become quite tired of meeting new people only to hear, “Ah hear yer th’ wun who turned mah cuzzen Itchy inta a trout... ah reckun we’s got a score ta settle...”