Political scenes we'd like to see

[mithriltabby]

While reading the latest issue of The Economist this morning, a conspiracy theory occurred to me. For once, it’s the sort of conspiracy I’d like to have operating behind the scenes. Here’s how it works:

About the time that Kerry clinched the Democratic nomination, he and the Democratic National Committee meet to talk strategy. What they really need is a way to bring disaffected Republicans over to Kerry without alienating the Democrats. There’s an obvious VP candidate for doing this: John McCain.

So they meet secretly with McCain and make some plans.

While the speculation ramps up on who will be Kerry’s VP, agents provocateur start asking about McCain as a possibility, enough that other people take up the speculation. McCain hears enough of this that he puts his foot down and says “No.”

Despite this, speculation continues. McCain grows more curmudgeonly in his denials, until he declares he’ll go to the Democratic National Convention to tell them “No!” in person.

At the convention, the conversation goes something like:

Kerry: VP please?
McCain: No.
Kerry: Pretty please?
McCain: No!
Kerry: Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?
McCain: You’d never agree to my terms.
Kerry: Probably not... but just for the sake of argument, what are they?

At that point, McCain trots out a prearranged agenda of issues that appeal to conservatives and they retire to a back room to discuss things. They emerge an hour later with a Kerry-McCain ticket. and some announcements of changes to the platform that include some traditional Republican values like fiscal conservativism.

At that point, Democrats will feel good because they’ve got a maverick Republican on their side, and disaffected Republicans can feel good voting for Kerry-McCain because they’ve strongarmed the Democrats into following the policies they’ve espoused all along.

Any time during the Kerry-McCain administration they have to do something for the good of the country that would cause either party to set up a huge whine, the candidate from that party can go to his people and say, “I’m terribly sorry, but we had to make some compromises to build the ticket...” This makes it possible for the administration to get some useful things done without having their parties turn on them.

After Kerry’s terms are up, McCain runs for President (on either the Republican or Democratic ticket) with Hillary Clinton as his VP, and the cycle continues.

Comments

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

(wipes a tear from either eye)

That's beautiful.

[deirdremoon.livejournal.com]

OOOooooo! I like that a lot. After a while, Doonesbury or some other political pundit gives the method a name like the Common Sense ticket or the Stop Whining and Do Something ticket, and it's clinched, and everyone still feels clever (except for the now-ignored fanatics on either end). Hee hee.

[mithriltabby]

Looks like McCain actually approached Kerry! That would have been an interesting ticket to see.